Friday, 29 December 2017

7 things you find in a typical Nigerian Village

All Hail Alphasoars . . .

Merry Christmas to you and expecting an Alphasoaring year for everyone. I know most of us have travelled to our different villages for the holidays. Back at the village, the home-feeling is entertaining and most times you'll wish not to return, lols.
Just take your time and explore your village, so when you are expected to return to the city, you will find yourself fulfilled and happy. Some of us, your village might be someone's city. Like you are a native of Port Harcourt, and you are residing at Lagos. PH City becomes your village! You don't agree with that? Lemme mention seven things you find in a typical Nigerian village and if at the end of my list, you can't find about 4 of them in your village, then you aren't from the village.

Ok legooo . . .


1. There is always this uncompleted building at that corner of the village. Tell me if there is no uncompleted building in your village so that I can delist it immediately. Most of us will always ask our elders, 'who owns that building'. The reply you will get will start with a sigh which will be followed with an 'it is a long story' kind of response. Then they start telling fairy-tales about the building and its owner.

2. There is always this abandoned school by the corner of the village that has produced, Presidents, Governors and national leaders of various categories. This school is left unattended. The structure is dilapidated and seriously surviving on life-support system. In this school, you will find the best of teachers who have given up on expecting six figured money to come from anywhere. They have been told that their reward is in heaven. But you will still find them faithful to their jobs - no truancy, no absenteeism.
The government and those it has produced in the years have all become too classy to look at the mould that shaped their future and putting it in a better shape.

Monday, 11 December 2017

Letter: To Whom it May Concern

                                                                                                            No. 1 Google Avenue,
                                                                                                            Alphasoars Street,
                                                                                                            United World, Earth.
                                                                                                            11th December, 2017.

Dear You,

I wish to use this unfailing medium to communicate my frustrations and tell you in clear terms who we are. Firstly, we are a group of person that existed long time ago like your ancestors. We are a group of people that don't necessary rely on your effort to survive. Before I go further to tell you more about us, I want to vent. Why do you think we are parasites? Who gave you the impression that we are saboteurs. Why do you have that awkward believe that we are enemies of progress? Why do you give me reason to believe that you are an ungrateful anatomically modern human.
This is a very short letter of which I have not wished to write above three hundred words. We are a people who have special skills as relates to all human endeavours. You don't believe me, right? I refer you to study this article, since I won't bore you with long talks and history. Read Here!

In the country as I have seen it with my youthful eyes, we are invited into key decision making areas, but we won't be allowed to take the credit. We have been subjected to backyard technocrats that gives advice from the back door and are shut out, immediately.

In every corridor of business around, we have shown our prowess. We have demonstrated our zeal in building an enriching life for ourselves and our unborn generations.
You hate us with incorrigible passion but you like us run your business because you believe we have all it takes to deliver. We are a people that value education as you, but we won't want to engage in an engagement of four years and are easily disappointed with a multiple of that time/year. In a clear term, we won't prefer to enroll in your school for a four year course and are granted the undesirable permission to stay in the four corners of your institution for twelve years.

We are a people that love investing in skill acquisition. We love entrepreneurship to the core. We are self dependent in a great sense.

But I won't conclude this letter without requesting for a response to this bothering question, "Why do you hate us"? 
But before you tell me what exactly you want to nag about, just know that your hatred towards us does not remove a string of hair on us. In fact, it has made us more stronger, adaptive and courageous. We rule every part of our world and your world directly or indirectly. Agree or disagree. 

We are the Igbo people! 

#Udo

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